So... my little journey of medlessness is about to end. Apparently I am more difficult to deal with than I actually feel like I am - Which is pretty typical of Bipolar Disorder. Unless you actually live with me, or see me in person every day, it's understandable that you may not have noticed much of a difference. Unfortunately for my husband, he's my only living companion and he gets it ALL. I am currently trying to get in to see my head doc to get on something that I can be on while preggo. No, I'm not currently preggo, but at some point I would like to be. This brings me to my little acronym that I've coined - TSFP, meaning Thank Science For Prozac.
Brian & Karin
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On our wedding day
Eva
Oliver
:)
Chief Brown Dog
Looks nice, but really kind of naughty
Shiva Kitty
Smarter than the dog
4 comments:
Dear Karin -
Get back on your meds! One of the problems with bipolar disorder is that it always tricks you into thinking you'll manage without the meds. You need them, not for when you're fine, but for when the not-fine times come along, which you can never anticipate. Pretty much everyone I know with bipolar disorder has tried going off their meds when they felt good, and they always find out it was a mistake.
You are such a lovely person. I admire you, and I love you so much for loving Brian. Take your meds and find peace. I don't have BPD, but I have severe depression and severe anxiety, and I cannot go a day without my meds or I am in trouble. Meds aren't bad. They help us to function. God gave us our intelligence so people could invent things like meds, which make our lives better.
Feel better.
Love -
Aunt Ruth
Thanks Ruth! Yeah, I actually wasn't going off because I wanted to do it for myself... just trying to be healthier and drug-free for a possible baby! The more research Brian and I do though, sometimes its actually safer for both mama and baby if mama takes some meds! I think I fall in that category.
I love that you said you're apparently harder to deal with than you think you are. I think that sums up mental illnesses in a nutshell! I'm always surprised (and pissed) when my close friends and family can guess that I've stopped taking my meds, because I feel like I'm functioning just fine! The slide downwards is very subtle and I don't even recognize it a lot.
Good luck finding the right brand/dosage of meds that keep you sane AND your body baby-friendly. It's not always an easy process tweaking medicines that are meant to fix our broken brains. I'm sending you all the good vibes I have to spare. =) (Although you might not want to take them from a fellow Crazy, haha)
Oh, well, we're all crazy, aren't we? I always tell my husband that he's just my brand of crazy! We love eachother because our crazy fits. LOL
Of course you're right about the meds that are right for you. I always think that the negative chemacals that dump into our bodies naturally when we don't have meds to stop them are worse than the meds we use to stop them! LOL This was always true for me during pregnancy and right after, especially. Those hormones play nasty games with your head!
Its all worth it in the end, though, when you have that tiny little baby in your arms.
Love,
Ruth
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